04 octubre 2008


There is no discussion of how they feel or what they want out of life; there is only the descending order - grandmother, mother, daughters - with the back yard outside under rain, and the dead vegetable garden.
The Virgin Suicides,
Jeffrey Eugenides

June Second, 1910.

When the shadow of the sash appeared on the curtains it was between seven and eight oclock and then I was in time again, hearing the watch. It was Grandfather's and when Father gave it to me he said I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire; it's rather excruciating-ly apt that you will use it to gain the reducto absurdum of all human experience which can fit your individual needs no better than it fitted his or his father's. I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all your breath trying to conquer it. Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.

The Sound & the Fury, Faulkner.
La mujer de mi padre vino a decirme que había muerto y que a ver si podía ayudarla algo para pagar el entierro. Hice lo que pude, que no era mucho, y cuando ella se fue, por un momento, sólo por un momento, de pie en medio de mi comedor, me vi pequeña con un lazo blanco en la cabeza, al lado de mi padre, que daba la mano y andábamos por calles con jardines y siempre pasábamos por una calle de torres que tenía un jardín con un perro que, cuando pasábamos, se tiraba contra la verja y nos ladraba; por un momento me pareció que volvía a querer a mi padre o a parecerme que le había querido mucho tiempo.
La Plaza del Diamante, Mercè Rodoreda

The grief which sweeps over me is the grief of anticipation. It is a grief in expectation of grief, and it carries with it a certain degree of guilt, since one feels that what one really should be doing is enjoying the moment, being together now while it is possible to do so, rather than giving in to some gloomy sense of incipient loss ... The future's an absence, a dark space up ahead like the socket of a pulled tooth. I can't quite stay away from it, hard as I may try.

Heaven's Coast, Mark Doty

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